Sunshine on My Shoulder by Nicole

 

I am one of those people who is usually a bit reluctant about going into surgery.  Well, on the early morning of Monday, September 28, I awoke and later realized spiritually, there was sunshine on my shoulder.  As I prepared to go to the hospital for surgery, there was calmness about me, a calmness I have never felt before…

That morning as I left home, realizing COVID-19 is swift around the medical community; yet, I felt my cup runneth over with joy…

Stay in the Race

As my son drove me to the hospital, my spirit was constantly telling me, ‘joy comes in the morning, I must stay in the race’…

After arriving to the hospital, I experienced such beautiful, beautiful peace among everyone I came in contact with; the registration assistant, the nurses, the anesthesiologist, the surgeon and his assistant.  It was as if my Higher Power assigned a band of angels to take care of me, putting me at ease…

I Am Grateful

Sunshine on my Shoulder 

My Heart is Filled with Praise

Prior to going into surgery, I remember asking my Higher Power to bring me through the procedure and allow me to gently fly here on earth a little while longer.  Allow my heart to be filled with praise as I dance fearlessly through the valley and come out on the other side in the beautiful love of light…

Stay Steadfast

Prior to going into surgery, I strongly felt the prayers from those who are here on earth praying for my recovery; gently requesting I stay steadfast; and, I thank them…

Spiritually, I felt the presence of my ancestors surrounding me with a tsunami of love; gently directing me to stay steadfast.  As they tiptoed through the tulips, dancing around me, telling me my surgery is nothing but a formality and my Higher Power got this; and, I thank them…

I Am Grateful

Sunshine on my Shoulder

 

Wisdom Come from Experience

After going through surgery, for days I humbled myself, rocking and rolling, asking my Higher Power to allow my heart to be still while waiting for the pain to subside.  When the pain abates, I realized I am more than a conqueror…

Healing to the Bones

And finally, after going through surgery, my soul was overwhelmed when I spiritually received this sweet message…

“Gracious Words are a Honeycomb, Sweet to the Soul and Healing to the Bones”

Proverbs 16:24

As I stand on the wall, accepting my healing, these words ascend out into the universe…

Yes,

I Am Grateful

Sunshine on my Shoulder

 

Team Awesome

We needed to walk a 5km / 3.1 miles walk – the Stroke Comeback Trail.

I needed to set up Mimosas, Nordic-Knot pretzels, juice and my painting: “i am awesome”.

I'm grateful to Gerrit, Karl, Kenzie, Wendy, Erica, John and their three kids, Rita, Hammad, Omi, Katia, Amy, Kristen, Alysia, Rylan and two dogs.

I walked and walked and walked.

We chatted with each other and it was fabulous.

Then everyone drank Mimosas and ate pretzels. Then I needed a nap. 

Cheers, 

Kim

The Essence of My Sweet Spirit by Nicole

 

 The Essence of My Sweet Spirit

 

As my sweet spirit ascends so bright, essence reminds me its star is shining so radiantly tonight

When weakness passes over me, I search and find my essence which utters, ‘it’s time to dance now that I am free’

As I survive any bad that comes to me, with all the sorrow I have learned to just let it be

Even with the fear of failure that holds me back, I am surprised when my essence shows me the way and promises there will be a new day

As I run through the storm with my head held high, my essence politely directs me, ‘Walk softly.  Take a Moment.  Don’t be shy’

As essence whispers in my sight; she shows me how to illuminate in the light

As faith sees best in the dark, my essence shows me how to march on to victory and leave the world my watermark

When I see the mist of the twilight I have found, I realize my feet are on solid ground

Sunset

I Yom Ma Day (My Joy Has Come)

My Footprint in the Sand - Come Walk with Me by Nicole

 

Today as I humbly walk the walk, I will never lose the gift of wonder.  

As I walk the walk embracing my flaws, I will try to get right what I got wrong yesterday.  I will remold my soul from sculptured clay while experiencing the rite of passage.

Yes, come walk with me

 

As I walk the walk, I will virtually visit my connections with family and friends, while remembering that the sum of all the people I have met in life is like a garden full of budding roses.

As I walk the walk, with my foot in the sand, I must remember, there can be no tree without the roots; the true roots of my soul that springs up and lives life out loud.   

Yes, come walk with me

 

As I walk the walk, I will forgive those who have trespassed against me; and, I will request forgiveness from those who I have trespassed against.  In doing so, I must remember, “When you change the tribe, the tribe changes you.”

As I come full circle while testing the winds, I will find that missing link that makes me whole.  I will release the prison of my past as I continue to explore the bright light of the stars; the stars that bring me quiet time which can be a lovely relaxing companion. 

Yes, come walk with me

 

As I walk the walk, completing my arduous journey, I accept that time is on the horizon.  As I pass on the wisdom of grace and mercy that is so graciously afforded me, I will remember the words that gently resonate …embrace my faith and protect it.

 Yes, Come Walk With Me

Normal. Not Normal. by Kitti

“Normal” people are happiness and laughter. Depressed and trouble. Anger and hatred. Regret and sorrow.

But “not normal” people are missing something. We might have a crutch, be blind, deaf, in a wheelchair, or brain injuries. I have Aphasia, which means reading, writing and listening are easier but speaking is hard. Speaking is different and slow. “Normal” people are free conversation and gossip but I am just slow—slowing my word difficult process what to mean.

Shemer said, “forward, not backwards.” It’s true. Sometimes, I said, “before Choice... before boyfriend... before Ascend...” But the moment is “now”. The moment is “forward”. 

We are “Disable” but we are “not normal”. We are incredible. We are invincible. We are people.

Tree of Life - Hope by Nicole

 

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick.  But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life”.

                                                                                                        Proverbs 13:12

A Moment of Hope

In “A Moment of Hope”, think about the seeds that you planted in the ground and decide if it’s time to reap the love of grace and favor you have sowed. 

Remember the secret to good things in life is understanding that there is peace in the midst of every storm.

A Movement of Hope

While you are in the eye of a pandemic, a grief you have never seen or experienced before, Mother Nature politely asks you to have hope. Holding the world gently in her hands, Mother Nature requests that you reset your courage button and restore to the world that hope is not in vain.

While restoring your hope, observe how the universe is changing and with this change, fear is not an option, but faith is. 

On the journey of restoring your hope, see the universe with new eyes; see the garment of true love, dancing like the flowers that bloom after a long night of summer rain.

Have a Fresh Drink of Water

Stand still to see the light in your hope; and remember justice from the light arrives from the darkness.  Allow hope to come into your heart, reclaim your faith and see the wonder of it all.

Adjusting to the New Normal of Hope

As we began to understand that the old normal is gone and the new normal is here to stay, you will find that brilliant twinkle in your hope.  On your journey, keep on believing until you see the sparkle that rises up, a sparkle that has unchained your shackles and set you free to see we are all inter-related.  Find the courage to see that “all men and women are created equal.”

And finally, as you listen during your quiet time, trying to hold on to hope, hope of adjusting to your “new normal,” reintroduce yourself to the light of the sun that shines down so brightly; and, wait for the ‘higher power’ to make its move.

“Father I am available to You

Father use me to show someone the way

And enable me to stay

My storage is empty and I am available to You”

Amen

I was and I am. by Kitti

On Nov 12, 2018, I was hit by a car and no more sounded real. In a dream, I felt like in 2 or 3 days to go home with my friends. But in fact, I lay coma for 4 weeks, said Regina, my friend/my “sister”. In hospital, it was frightful and dreadful to me in 5 months. So quick and so slow with me. 

After hospital, Regina and I live together. Regina is my guardian and handles the lawyers, caregivers, NAA and Stroke Comeback Centre. She is also B2 visa, Tourist visa, with me. Before Choice Hotel International was H1B visa but I don’t work. Last April and October, I cried in tears and suicidal thoughts. Times go by, I was and I am. Before accident, Regina and I were co-workers. After accident, Regina and I are best friends and “sisters”. 

I am still me. I have walk and talk slower than before. Yet, I am traumatic brain injury survivor and have Aphasia. I am working English lesson and speaking. My hobby is painting between my thought. I was and I am.

Mountain Top Preview - Just Breathe by Nicole

Today, as I held on to my breath of life, I saw a beautiful rainbow in the sky displaying multiple fantastic colors. 

As I perceived that rainbow bowing down to greet me, I, without awareness, rose up to meet that rainbow.  In experiencing such a beautiful, beautiful rainbow, I could not imagine where heaven ended and where the earth began.

Just Breathe and Remember the Rainbow….

Subconsciously, I often think about how it feels to catch a rainbow in the sky, while twirling around its whimsical colors.

Just Breathe and Remember the Rainbow….

During the coronavirus, in what can be some of our darkest days, do not be afraid. This is a time in our life that we must gently work ourselves through silence and peace around us.

Just Breathe and Remember the Rainbow….

During your trying times, think about “how your skin feels when it is touched by nature’s sun.”

Just Breathe and Remember the Rainbow….

We may consider this time in our lives as a period of trials and tribulations, we must constantly remind each other, that our spiritual self is a higher power. 

Just Breathe and Remember the Rainbow….

In your quiet time, while being quarantined at home, take a moment out to allow peace to come into your heart.

Just Breathe and Remember the Rainbow….

Take time out to stand still and revisit your life’s trials and the lessons learned from them.

Just Breathe and Remember the Rainbow….

Take time out to softly listen to the beat of your heart.

Just Breathe and Remember the Rainbow….

As we climb up the “Mountaintop Preview” of our lives, remember each morning when we open our eyes to witness another day, give thanks for the glory of it all.  Try to live each day for what it is, a brand-new day.

Just Breathe and Remember the Rainbow….

Like a dream that vanishes in the morning light, there is a sign of hope.

Just Breathe and Remember the Rainbow….

Until we are able to look down from the Mountaintop of our lives and see the beauty of it all….

Just Breathe….

Rolling Stone - Finally Home by Nicole

Rolling Stone - Finally Home

Freed from the Caged Bird

 

For many years I felt like a captured caged bird that sings and sings and sings, just waiting for someone to come by, open the caged door and allow me to fly free.

 

After months of rehabilitation, I realized that my post-stroke nourishment is releasing me from the emotional bird cage that binds me. 

 

My post-stroke feeding is forcing me to look into the mirror and see my kindred spirit knocking at the door; a kindred spirit that takes me so deep that I do not realize where I have gone until the zone hits me forward-on.

 

My post-stroke feeding is healing my soul.

 

After having my stroke, I had to flip that feeling of anger.  Like many others I asked myself, why did I have a stroke? Being the youngest sibling, why me? My resounding answer was, “why not me”. 

 

As a little girl, up to a large portion of my elder-hood years, I felt like that captured caged bird, constantly wondering where I belong, where I belong.  Do I really belong here?    

 

Being a wanderer, I remember moving from job to job, home to home, searching for that perfect job and that perfect place to live.  I became so excited with that new job or new home… until the novelty wore off.  One day I asked myself, what am I running from?  What am I running to?

 

Being so restless, like the caged bird, I finally realized, I was running from myself.  Every job I worked, every home I moved into, each time I was taking me along with it.

 

My post-stroke rehab is gentle forcing me to take the time out to see my life for what it is, freeing myself from that cage.

 

My post-stroke life is teaching me to understand that as aphasia comes in different storms and waves, you just ride it out.

 

In my heart of hearts, my post-stroke life is teaching me to understand that beauty is truth, and that truth is beauty.

 

My post-stroke life is showing me that rainbows and butterflies dance in the sunset.

My post-stroke life is showing me how to open up the door of my bird cage, accept who I am, and come out ‘flying into the storm’.

 

And above all, my post-stroke life shows me…

my life is just a rolling stone that finally, finally has come home.

 

Word:  We start off very low and rise up high, telling people who we really are***

 

Gratitude Letter by Nicole

Dear Stroke Comeback Center (SCC),

After having a stroke, I am grateful for all of the reassurance you have provided when I was lost in the wilderness and could not find my way.

I thank you for teaching me I can continue to enjoy my journey in life without skipping a beat.

At times when I only recognized the old normal me, I thank you ‘SCC’ for gently showing me how to accommodate the new normal me.

Thank you for understanding me and showing me how to accept and embrace the new normal me when the old normal me is pecking at my door.

I thank you for showing me, it’s okay to let go of my pride, after realizing I cannot do some of the things I could do before my stroke and showing me how to patiently ride out the storm.

I thank you for giving me a temporary home to visit each week and share with the stroke survivors and strivers, although some of us may have an injured left wing, we can still fly on our right wing.

I thank you for showing me when aphasia comes a knocking, patiently wait and welcome her with gladness.

I thank you ‘SCC’ for teaching me how to bring aphasia alive without being afraid and welcoming her with open arms. 

After having my stroke, I thank you for gently showing me I do not have to be lost, but be a witness of joy in the midst of it all.

And above all ‘SCC’, I give you my gratitude for showing me I can adapt to my new way of life with peace, beyond measures I never believed was possible or imagined.

SCC, I Truly Truly Thank You For Your Services….. 

Nicole –

Comments: As I began the year of 2020, it is my hope to welcome and invite stroke survivors and strivers to rise up and be at peace with their new normal.